X-Sender: m_keith@mail2.servus.at
To: gabi@servus.at
From: Keith Goddard
Subject: An I for an I
Date: Wed, 25 Mar 1998 19:47:38 +0100
X-Orcpt: rfc822;gabi@servus.at

Seeing I to I

I've been asked to continue my little Eye of the Beholder column for Versorger - my impressions, this time, being of Linz in late March, early April 1998. To be honest, I have not spent much time in Stadtwerkstatt on this visit to justify the presentation of any meaningful consideration of the place though I immediately noticed that there are more computers around. Instead of living under the Stadtwerkstatt kitchen table, as happened in the past, I am housed in a little student room in the refurbished Öffenes Kulturhaus which is more private and where I have my own little shower hidden away from public view. The disadvantage of course is that I cannot spy on other people's lives in Stadtwerkstatt or pick up on current gossip.

Is it me or is Stadtwerkstatt becoming less radical, more conventional and generally more of a well oiled cog within the wheel of the greater establishment? Maybe I'm just getting used to the place. The younger generation is gaining a foothold: Gabi and Bert seem more at the helm, more in control than Georg or Thomas. Marc is, of course, well married with a family and a second baby on the way.

On the odd occasion when there has been some English floating around there have been a couple of conversations around sexual ethics. I talk about a complicated affair I am having at home: an obsession mixed with a third-party jealous lover, people in emotional cages and rages, violent physical and pschological attacks, trendy prozac, tranquilisers and therapists (I'm selling the filmrights if anyone wants the story). The object of my affections lives in social and economic circumstances markedly different from mine.

"Typical of gay relationships!" Gabi and Bert retort to which I respond pompously with words to the effect of "yours is heterosexist thinking." But these are not politically correct people so they just go "bleah bleah, whatever" and return promptly to furious typing to keep pace with conversations on their internet chatlines.

I've just finished a book on sexual ethics called "Doing Least Harm" which says people should establish relationships with their peers and with people of a similar economic status. I told Gabi I am paying the educational fees for the object of my obsession. She told me you should never buy people. Maybe that has something to do with why I was beaten up the jealous lover. There seems no other logical reason why I should have been attacked.

After my conversation with Gabi, a young women, whom I know very well, comes in to Stadtwerkstatt and says that her boyfriend from Mozambique is coming to Austria to study! They have been going steady for some years now. Where's the difference Gabi?

Bert and I are in Stonewall the other day. Bert sees a same-sex couple (men of course), one older and one much younger, sitting behind me. He comes to the conclusion that their relationship is based on economic factors and not on love. Maybe he judged right; maybe not. But how many people manage to get love for nothing in this world? Husbands are generally older, have the education and the money; wives are generally younger and are paid to do the housework, cook and look after the kids. But that is perfectly OK in heterosexual circles in what is termed the nuclear family and it is a style of behaviour that patriarchy encourages; when it happens between two men of differing ages, its called buying affection and cradle snatching.

I didn't see him but Bert thought the older man in Stonewall looked fascist. Was he wearing a Hitler moustache or was it something about the mop of his haircut? Remember the old science of Victorian times where scholars studied the faces of serial murderers and other hardline crimminals looking for common features that would help police with their enquiries and ensure the swift incaceration of these devlish-looking individuals! Remember, too, the article in that major newspaper in the fifties or sixties claiming that the brains of blacks were physically smaller than those of whites!

It was Gabi's birthday on 19th. Happy Birthday Gabi. Ta ta for the sparkling wine. I must say, I feel less of a special visitor these days around here and more of a general popper-inerer. My birthday occured just after I arrived (on March 13th for anyone who wishes to give me presents in the future) and the Kuthans threw a splendid party with wonderful food and lots to drink and numerous Austrian friends I have collected over the years. Having just returned from New York I was totally jet lagged and puzzled why everyone seemed to be leaving so early. Finally, I was thrown into a taxi at four in the morning and told to go home to bed.

Talking of age, I first came to Vienna when I was fifteen and I remember eagerly scouring the programmes of the Konzerthaus looking for anything that might pass for modern music. Just seeing the words Stravinsky and Bartok filled me with exquisite anticipation. I am sure I heard Webern's symphony in the Schoenberg Saal of the Konzerthaus. I never dreamed that twenty three yeas later a piece of mine would be performed in the same room. But I didn't know that my first recorded work would be published on CD and that there was somethinbg called electroacoustic music that could be produced on a computer and, surprisingly enough, at that stage I had never even heard of the Tonga.

The concert brought back another strong reminder from the past: an old school friend from Zimbabwe suddenly appeared before me after twenty years and expected me to remember her name. The last time we had seen each other was when we were riding home from school sometime in 1978. I understand that her parents still live around the block from where I stay in Harare.

The Tonga project sems to have taken on a life of its own. Perhaps it is time to put the Six Reflections to sleep and move on. KUNZWANA is developing a community tourist project with the Tonga of Siachilaba which, with everything round here, is a controversial issue. The Tonga Simonga CD is in the works and there are endless discussions about what should go on it and how it should be produced. I supose this is more the Stadtwerkstatt that I love and know.

I've decided not to come back here until Austrians can sort out their weather problems: it is definitely too cold here. And its useless telling me during a Viennese snowstorm on the first day of Spring that it was unduly warm in February, I was in sunny Zimbabwe at that time and unconcerned about the abnormalities of northern climates.

Keith Goddard
keith.goddard@servus.at