EYE OF THE NEEDLE (november 1996)

The unwritten rule here: heavy drinking is required after 6 o'clock. It leads to heavy talking. A policeman is on the radio team. It's open house here Georg. Remember? All of us are allowed in but some of us are allowed in further than others. Nothing more Orwellian than that! Dominic asked to be mentioned in my column. Hello Dominic. Andrea sang Red songs in the office the other day and all the computers went off line. The files are hopelessly corrupt; it's all that internet porno they have been reading. Georg is proud of his tools-for-all ploicy. The problem is they don't work. Hammer, hammer hammer. Grind, buzz. Hammer, hammer hammer. Klonk, Klang. There is a lot of that here. Andy always moves purposefully around the building. I know its him because his keys twangle and he always walks at the same speed. If I had a hammer, I'd hammer in the morning, I'd hammer in the evening ooh ooh ooh, all over the world. Went to Andrea's house the other day; played RISK. Won the first round (Always play with Alex). Didn't understand my mission in round two (I don't read German too well) and so changed the rules. If you can't win with the rules as they are, you must change them to win. My pink army won because no obe else knew what the fuck I was doing. But then the order was destroy yourself! Went to Stonewall afterwards and sat alone and self conscious. The Spritzers made me gloomy. Albert walked in and laughed. He deals with AIDS. He laughs when he breathes. >You have to, he says. Nobody likes what anyone else is doing. What Kuthan is doing is crap. What Georg is doing is crap. Nobody knows what Lehner is doing. Nobody criticises Donke. You have to be ion sure ground when you take a dig at God. Heavy discussion about the Tonga project in the lefto yesterday. >What did you learn from the meeting, he asks >That I can't speak German Lehner makes me cry in Cafe Strom. In front of everyone. Thank God Gabi is there to pick up the pieces. Everyone is embarressed except me. Men should cry more in public. Dominic kneels in front of the goulasche in the left. He is not praying; he is eating it. I took some and felt guilty and washed the pan and the bowl afterwards to hide the evidence. Tensions between me and Androsch over the composition project. My music tries to solve the riddles of the universe; he wants something that can be presented everywhere. Heavy discussion in a local bar about the Tonga Project. Androsch wants it kept as art - bugger the sociology and the politics. I sit back ands watch. My job is finished - leave it to the others to wrangle with. I talk to Markus Binder. >What do you want to bring 30 Tongas to Europe for >To see what happens He is silenced by this because he thinks I'm a structuralist Stadtwerkstatt is the revolution. But where is the revolution. Is Markus retiring from it? Dominic visits me in the loft. He says nothing when sober. He tries to get me to smoke. I hold the cigarette and let it burn out. A cassette recorder balanced on a bed you would find in an emergency room in a hospital. We lean on it. This is his disco. Dean Martin in Spanish. Oh God, it is so cheap. Then Country and Western. She can't sing but the songs.... He runs out of words. But then he learnt to speak English in New York. He jumps up on a ladder and uses it as tall stilts. I get a fit of the giggles. He tries to get me to do the same but I am a coward. >Let the young people. Georg is the grandfather. You know what I mean. >Yes, Dominic. It's time for bed. >Donke lets the young people. Jon, Jon, the Irishmon So the younger generation do have a revolution. The obviously want to learn the words by heart. A tape of IRA revoutionary songs played endlessly in the office while I play shanghai on the computer and drink red wine. Is the other guy with the nice teeth his brother? They sleep in the attic. When I get into bed I fall over the tape player, still playing Irish Republican Revolutionary Songs. Before I die will my soul pass over old Ireland? >Don't know, I'm off to Greece after this. Woken up in the morning biot by the pealing of bells but by... Irish Republican Revolutionary Songs A pocket version of Suzie arrives in the office. I wheel Suzie to the desk. I can't throw her off. I experiment with the sampler and discover instant Mahler and Schoenberg using strong sounds in the sampler. Androsch would never approve. I want to see Androsch but don't want to bother him. His flat is on the way home from the studio. I stand outside his door every day for at least ten minutes plucking up courage to ring the bell. Sometimes I fail; sometimes I ring it and then run away. Schubert visits Beethoven. I always ask people about their sexual perferances. Some bisexual men have made the choice. What is Donker's preferances. Marc finds binhex.anal and binhex.fetish on the internet. Hank Williams and Audrey Williamss, his first wife. A couple of words of anger of course but through lack of control it leads to divorce Poor little Sue. My mother's dog is dying. Goodbye Rondo. Do they allow spoilt dogs into heaven?